Nev
- If you’re here from CBBC Edposting, you’re a fucking pleb. Nev is a small blue bear with brown patches on his tummy and around his mouth, scratches on his tummy and part of his penis missing. He also has a tattoo of the poster for jaws, however jaws is misspelled as "the world will know my reckoning. When days of sodom and rape pillage the land. Those who fear my name with greatest disdain will face my wrath". He copresented Smile from September 11th 2001 to August 2007, some of that time alongside Barney, and now lives in a flat with Barney - under normal circumstances there are no pets allowed in the flat, but Barney says that Nev is an autistic child instead. Nev can't speak in proper sentences and has trouble pronouncing certain words, this is due to the fact that, when inside his mothers womb, she drank a bottle of bleach each day for the duration of the pregnacy, as a result he was born mentally retarded and his mother died during childbirth. catphrases like "I win I win!", "No, no, no, no.", "Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear", "I'll beat the shit out of your da if you call my ma a toaster again you wee cunt right?" and "I'm going to McDonalds, i have like 10 quid so like i could get you a big mac or some shit". His voice gradually got more high pitched since when he first appeared on Smile to the point where it is literally impossible to hear it unless you are a dog or minced on Ket. He also has nicknames for other characters, probably because he has no respect for anyone - Andy Prank is "������ ", Beatrice is "Big tits magee", Bouncer Boy is "17 year old lad who thinks he's the big sauce" Melanie is "Within firing range of that old pedo fucker with the shit cut" and Barbara is "Cuntdestroyer9000x". Nev can be a bit cheeky and mischievous, but never really "behaves badly" as the title would suggest - Mr Prank behaves far worse in comparison, as he is always trying to cut the benefits of disabled people. Nev will usually only bother Mr Prank if he feels like it. Nev's best friend is Barney, hence another of his catchphrases "I want to marry you, Barney, my loins burn for your tender kiss, I yearn for the day that we will be united", and he also gets on extremely well with Beatrice, Keith, Melanie and Barbara and Doris. Mr Prank and Bandit the cat are his main enemies - Bandit is the reason why part of Nevs penis is missing. Nev likes jam, socks, ice cream and "cummies", which can mean either rubber ducks, or his "officer nasty" doll. His conscience is often represented by a pair of floating, talking rubber dicks, one yellow and with a halo, the other red and with horns. Nev is often said to be a "rare species", however, the Blue Nazi Bear in the episode Ausbear, and cousin Devito from the episode Cousin Devito, who wasn't actually Nev's cousin at all, both look almost identicle, as did members of Nev's family shown in an episode of Smile, and so maybe he isn't that rare afterall. When scared, Nev will often scream like a girl, although he will sometimes growl more like an actual bear too. In terms of his appearence, he looks more like a frog, except to Aunt Barbara, who thinks he is a penniless black man who she pays to clean her house. While I'm here, does anyone else get that weird stabbing feeling in your eyes when you pee? Hurts like mad and sometimes there's even blood. The doctor said I'm fine but since I moved from BUPA to NHS doctors, I don't feel like I can trust them anymore. Please, I'm begging someone, help me out here. No but do you ever get a shiver up your back after you take a piss? ☀http://bearbehavingbadly.wikia.com/wiki/Quinn Category:Characters Category:Bears Category:Monkeys